Final moments
16 June 05
Soaked up the children as much as I could today...stuffed giant bags of caramelos and toys under each mugaloos pillow before I left, was presented with a book filled with sweet private notes of love and beautiful drawings from the children, gave nearly everything I brought with me to Lucy for distribution to the children (traded in my brand new Tevas for a pair of 3 sole sandals made of recycled tires)...
...One other going away gift from these lovely children..."un regalo de Peru" as Lucy put it...Lice for the first time in my life! Apparently too much snuggling with the children! Lucy combed my hair out along with the other little ones this afternoon! Unfortunate situation but an absolutely intimate social experience.
Marco collected me to bring me to the airport and I really tried my hardest to leave the refuge without bursting into tears, but as soon as I tried to give my little speech...
"Primero de todos, excuse por favor me Castillano terrible!
Desee agradecerle todo por permitir que comparta su hogar y sus vidas con usted, ha sido un regalo para mi.
El vivir aqui con usted me ha hecho muy feliz y no deseo ahora irme porque usted hace que todo haga tan especial a mi.
Le llevare con mi a los Estados Unidos en mi corazon y volvere muy pronto."
...I burst into tears with my introductory apology for my poor Spanish!
Smothered by children begging me to stay with them, smothered with their kisses and feeling their warm tears mixed with mine on my cheeks and lips...I question again and again why I am leaving...and feel like I am purposefully sabotaging my flight for an excuse to remain. Everyone crying and me refusing to say goodbye only hasta leugo, yo volver muy pronto...with the knowledge that as soon as I set foot in the United States, I will be researching my return flight...
We leave to the airport only to discover that my flight is delayed until 2 am...the wait is minimized by a drawn out search of my bags accompanied by warnings about trying to sneak coca leaves and fresh aji peppers into the United States...I think "what is a bit of coca when the people next to me are attempting to smuggle in various black market animal pelts, etc.?"
I end up hanging out with Marco chatting until he glances at his watch and I end up having to race for my flight...third boarding call already...sabotage?
Now I sit in the plane, preparing to leave and my heart feels like it has been cut in half, we begin to move and I think "is this what I want to do?". Rolling, rolling, rolling down the runway, picking up speed, throat tightening, eyes filling with tears...I say "hasta luego Peru" as we lift off...
...started crying again as soon as I landed on U.S. soil...
Soaked up the children as much as I could today...stuffed giant bags of caramelos and toys under each mugaloos pillow before I left, was presented with a book filled with sweet private notes of love and beautiful drawings from the children, gave nearly everything I brought with me to Lucy for distribution to the children (traded in my brand new Tevas for a pair of 3 sole sandals made of recycled tires)...
...One other going away gift from these lovely children..."un regalo de Peru" as Lucy put it...Lice for the first time in my life! Apparently too much snuggling with the children! Lucy combed my hair out along with the other little ones this afternoon! Unfortunate situation but an absolutely intimate social experience.
Marco collected me to bring me to the airport and I really tried my hardest to leave the refuge without bursting into tears, but as soon as I tried to give my little speech...
"Primero de todos, excuse por favor me Castillano terrible!
Desee agradecerle todo por permitir que comparta su hogar y sus vidas con usted, ha sido un regalo para mi.
El vivir aqui con usted me ha hecho muy feliz y no deseo ahora irme porque usted hace que todo haga tan especial a mi.
Le llevare con mi a los Estados Unidos en mi corazon y volvere muy pronto."
...I burst into tears with my introductory apology for my poor Spanish!
Smothered by children begging me to stay with them, smothered with their kisses and feeling their warm tears mixed with mine on my cheeks and lips...I question again and again why I am leaving...and feel like I am purposefully sabotaging my flight for an excuse to remain. Everyone crying and me refusing to say goodbye only hasta leugo, yo volver muy pronto...with the knowledge that as soon as I set foot in the United States, I will be researching my return flight...
We leave to the airport only to discover that my flight is delayed until 2 am...the wait is minimized by a drawn out search of my bags accompanied by warnings about trying to sneak coca leaves and fresh aji peppers into the United States...I think "what is a bit of coca when the people next to me are attempting to smuggle in various black market animal pelts, etc.?"
I end up hanging out with Marco chatting until he glances at his watch and I end up having to race for my flight...third boarding call already...sabotage?
Now I sit in the plane, preparing to leave and my heart feels like it has been cut in half, we begin to move and I think "is this what I want to do?". Rolling, rolling, rolling down the runway, picking up speed, throat tightening, eyes filling with tears...I say "hasta luego Peru" as we lift off...
...started crying again as soon as I landed on U.S. soil...
posted by Rebel at 8:23 PM
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